Why Do We Self-Sabotage Our Relationships?

People self-sabotage relationships for a variety of reasons such as fear, low self-esteem, trust issues, high expectations, and inadequate relationship skills. Learn more about why we self-sabotage our relationships and how to prevent it.

Why Do We Self-Sabotage Our Relationships?

People self-sabotage relationships for a variety of reasons, such as fear, low self-esteem, trust issues, high expectations, and inadequate relationship skills. To protect themselves from potential hurt, individuals may employ strategies like withdrawing, becoming defensive, or attacking their partners. Self-sabotage in relationships involves engaging in behaviors that ultimately lead to the end of the relationship, either consciously or unconsciously. This could involve pushing the other person away or finding excuses to end the relationship.

These behaviors are often rooted in trust issues, past experiences, and a lack of relationship skills. My team and I define relationship sabotage as counterproductive attitudes and behaviors within (and outside) relationships that prevent them from succeeding or cause people to give up on them. One form of romantic self-sabotage is to choose partners who are simply wrong for you.

Colin Lear
Colin Lear

Hipster-friendly coffee lover. Professional bacon scholar. Infuriatingly humble music practitioner. Proud pop culture junkie. Proud travel fanatic.