It is often said that self-sabotaging behavior is due to low self-esteem, negative self-talk, and related negative emotions, which are continually reinforced by the resulting failure. Self-sabotage is when we actively or passively take action to prevent us from reaching our goals. This behavior can affect almost every aspect of our lives, whether it's a relationship, a professional goal, or a personal goal such as weight loss. The most common self-sabotage behaviors include procrastination, self-medication with drugs or alcohol, comfort eating, and forms of self-harm, such as cutting.
An insidious and ubiquitous form of self-sabotage is meaningless distractions that prohibit the achievement of the goal. According to Joseph, self-sabotage occurs when you do certain things that were adaptive in a context but are no longer necessary. Self-sabotage behaviors can also be coping mechanisms learned (and outdated) from the past. We may have had to adopt certain behaviors to survive when we were little.
For example, if we grew up in an abusive home, we may have had to struggle to get out of it. But while this rugged exterior may have helped us back then, if we take it into adulthood, it's likely to have a detrimental effect on our relationships. The reasons for sabotaging relationships are complex, but understanding the origins of sabotage is key to change. I feel instant pleasure to see myself in the trash, I imagine another worse self-sabotage I could do and I can't wait to do it.
I grew up being constantly criticized and belittled by my father and that has caused me to have the habit of self-sabotage. Hey, I specifically sabotage myself eating because of stress, sleeping too much, addiction to pornography and masturbation, it's painful to do normal things that others do, to abuse my puppy. I have been subconsciously sabotaging my relationships with a person I really want to be with and I read your article, show me that it is fear of everything. I literally eliminated a 30-year career and a corporate vice president position through self-sabotage. My self-sabotage creates feelings of aversion towards myself, reinforces my low self-esteem and how I deserve the poor results of it. When I am aware that I am self-sabotaging, the critic's voice starts to hit me and shame takes hold of me and my thinking is distorted.
To overcome this behavior, it is important to monitor your behaviors, feelings, thoughts and beliefs about yourself and challenge them when they stand between you and your goals.